My son finished a methadone program at around the time I approached the community health centre for help. Although he had stopped using heroin, the drug addiction had brought up lots of issues in our family. My husband and I needed to deal with the loss of confidence in our ability to protect our children and we had the tendency to ‘check’ on our children more. This sometimes caused conflicts with our children.
My husband and I are both from a refugee background. My husband had very high expectations of our children and sometimes he was really strict with them. I found myself constantly needing to explain to the children where my husband was coming from and to ask my husband to consider the Australian culture that our children are immersed in.
In a way the drug problem made me re-think the way I communicate with my children. I wanted to get closer to my children so they would feel comfortable to tell me what they think. I knew that I needed to be patient and couldn’t just get angry. I know that this is the only way that I can help my son.
During the time that my son was using drugs, I was patient with his friends even though they looked like they were drug users and drinking a lot of alcohol. For example, I let one of his friends stay in my house for a week. I patiently explained to him my family situation and that I was very sick with a deteriorating chronic illness. He ended up helping my son to understand my situation!
My husband and my sister-in-law could not believe how patient I was. I don’t know how I developed this patience. Maybe God helped me, as I prayed for patience. When I am being patient, I am able to focus on what I need to do now and feel less affected by Depression.
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