I learnt to let go

It’s OK to be sad, but it’s so much better to let past be past…

As ‘Kenny’ said, “dad’s emotional bank account had two cents in it, so mum was the one who let you know you were loved and dad, you know kept the work coming in and that’s how it was in those days.”

I was dad’s favourite but didn’t know it till the day he died. The day of my fifteenth birthday. He had decided that he could no longer live without my mum and ended it. Hanging himself in my family’s driveway. My two elder sisters found him. He was expecting my mum and I to come around and get my birthday present.

After three months of counselling I have learnt that life goes on. I am 29 now. This is my first year that I have not had a breakdown on my birthday. I went hiking (I’m not into exercise!), trekking about 15km over 2 days, saw a beautiful sunset at Wilson’s Prom, had drinks with family and friends at a drag show in Smith Street, took flowers to my dad’s grave (which I am ashamed to admit, couldn’t find it because I hadn’t been there for so long) and did not shed a tear, which before this I was an absolute mess.

I know it’s OK to be sad, but it’s so much better to let past be past and look onto the future …. whatever it may hold.

Letting go and getting better at asking for help

When I injured my back and had to stop working in my small business, I was overwhelmed by Anxiety. I felt really stuck! I felt like I was at a crossroad – I kept wondering if I should sell my
business. It was too hard to run a small business on my own, especially when my back stopped me from doing things that I could normally do and I had to hire extra staff. The Anxiety was
completely consuming.

In a way, the incident helped me to get better at asking for help. I started to let go of the need of doing things all by myself. I started to tell people that I was struggling, and I asked my friends to help out. Being someone who likes to be in control, it was difficult for me to let go. It was amazing to see how people offered to help me. I realised that people are willing to help and I don’t have to do it all by myself. The unexpected outcomes of ‘letting go’ and ‘asking for help a bit more’ were that it strengthened my friendships and my anxiety level dropped.