Stories from 'carers'

Taking one step at a time – enjoy life at 86 years young!

Forty-six years ago I was a Technical School Teacher. Enthusiastic students attempted to complete practical projects too quickly and not learn thoroughly, so I constantly emphasised to ‘take one step at a time’.

Years later, through frustration and overwork, Depression set-in – a hopeless empty-tummy feeling and slow speech. A GP prescribed an anti-depressant and advised me to continue to work my way through. After a week, I discarded the drug and changed my mental attitude. Sheer willpower, live one day at a time, work on, but not to worry. Over time, I recovered and enjoyed success.

Nine years ago, for two years I was the sole carer for my wife who had Alzeheimers’ Disease. The greatest challenge in my life. Again I applied my axiom to ‘take one step at a time’. Together with advice from Yanada House and Alzeheimers’ Association we enjoyed our remaining years together. Now, keeping active, I aim for personal achievement each day, and thoroughly enjoy life at 86 years young.

Realising the effects of caring on my life; dealing with grief

My dad was diagnosed with very severe Depression and Dementia last year. Suddenly he could not do things for himself. And after a short time, I found myself showering and dressing him, prompting him on toileting and eating. He became very dependant on me.

I became very depressed and broke into tears easily and regularly. In a very short time I was extremely stressed as Dad required 24-hour care and Mum also required care and wasn’t getting enough – as you can only do so much. I was on holidays from work which I initially thought was great as it allowed me time to care for both parents, however, over time it had a very bad impact on my life. I tried to do it all and this left very little time for me to look after myself.

A review by Aged Psychiatric Assessment Team (APAT) saw my Dad return to hospital for further assessment. I knew this time, it would be best if he were placed in a nursing home which subsequently happened. Support from the family was very good at this time but it was still one of the hardest decisions ever made.

He is now in a nursing home and receiving very good care. I continue to care for Mum and she will have a respite care break shortly.

The effect of caring has had quite an impact on my life. I find it hard to do the things which were so easy for me before I started caring. Keeping up with looking after the home, paying bills, cooking, and so on when there are less people to help with these things is challenging ... and there was the grief of losing my dad to Dementia and a nursing home. I am undergoing counselling to help me through this period in my life and I am attending weekly exercise classes.

I learnt a few important things out of my experiences:

• Always tell the Doctor everything e.g. crying regularly.
• Learn what you can about Dementia and Depression.
• Seek help early and work out what support is best.
• Contact your local Council to find out what help you can get.
• Contact Carers Australia and join a carers’ group early.
• Make good use of respite care in a hostel or home.
• Make use of counsellors to help guide you through the stages of Dementia and grief.
• Attend Family Carers courses run by Alzheimer’s Association.
• Don’t do it all yourself – make sure you look after yourself too.
• Keep working as this gives you respite, income, and a sense of wellbeing.
• Have an Aged Care Assessment Team assess the person you are caring for.